Question :
Her Awesomeness enters class room fashionably late, at 9.30 am, panting and sweating(read: leaking) profusely.
With a 10Kg payload firmly affixed to the dorsal portion of Her torso and a pigmy umbrella swaying this way and that over Her shoulder as Her entourage, She begins her voyage at 8.50 am IST( Indian Stretchable Time), through a swarm of vehicles buzzing uninterrupted horn blows and noxious fumes from vehicle exhausts.
She obliges herself to using an exquisite variety of means of transportation from home to college,over a monotonous and not-so-impressive two-wheeler she owns, which She leaves in a God forsaken place, to rust and spoil itself.
The following points are excerpts from Her travelogue :
1. Walking a distance of 200m at a top speed 6 Kmph.
2. Royal APS RTC bus ride- a distance of 3/ 5 Km- average speed of bus, 20 Kmph (optimistically).
3. Walking a distance of 3Km/ 750 m at a top speed 6 Kmph
4. Taking an auto( rarely used, Her Awesomeness hates three-wheelers)
For onward journey - 1,2,(4,)3 and return journey- 3,2,1.
The length of Her journey is about 6Km and a major portion of it is spent on a bus' foot-board. Her entire body writhing in to-and-fro motion outside the confines of the bus, the tips of her toes pressing on the slippery foot-board and Her hands clasping the handle bars tightly for Dear Life, She performs stupendous feats every morning, which even the best of performers at The Great Chinese Circus are ineligible to fathom.
Kudos to Her bravado!
One great advocate of "efficient utilization of space" She is!
She does it, despite suffering muscle pulls, ligament inflammations and broken bones due to an occasional fall!
For Her to be able to reach the class on time, i.e., 9.00 am, (without suffering the aforementioned problems), suggest reforms and support them with arguments.
Solution :
Her Awesomeness' bravado is greatly regarded, and her idea of efficient space utilization duly appreciated, but starting at home at 8.50 am in order to reach a destination 6 Km away in just 10 minutes is obnoxiously ambitious, unless she shares genetic connections with the lineage of Don Quixote de la Mancha.
Let us study Her Awesomeness, more closely, and investigate the reasons to be late every morning.
Her Awesomeness is insomniac.
Her morbidly hyperactive grey cells keep her up in bed until wee hours of morning.
Her tendency to put off things makes her put off the alarm to snooze at least six times before finally giving into the incessant pleas of the alarm clock.
Resulting which, she wakes up carelessly late, under an illusion that she is an IIT creature, who is rumored to be endowed with blessings to sleep into the afternoon and bunk classes, without having to face the music from parents or professors, or feel a hint of remorse or guilt.
She finds the idiom, "Early bird catches worm", hilarious! "Who wants a worm anyway?", she snickers,"I shall thrive on sumptuous brunches", for she never rises early enough to call the food she eats, a "breakfast".
She identifies with a great boxer, who famously said that if school had started at four in the afternoon, he would've been a college graduate.
"Sloth, they named the bear after me!", she revels in her own joke, oblivious to the fact that it is not funny.
She unmindfully lazes around, wasting quite a deal of time while doing trivial things like the ritualistic ablutions, which are potential contributors to her being late, apart from screaming for "towel" from inside the bathroom.
She dashes outside her home, only to return inside , to collect objects vital to her existence- her eye glasses, pigmy umbrella, mobile phone, yet another reason to be ridiculously late.
A careful study of Her history reveals that she has been on her school's latecomers list ever since she was 14.
She seems remotely penetrable to reform. Late-rising, late-going and late- sleeping have been hard-wired into her being. The dark, deep circles around her spectactled eyes stand for indestructible evidence.
Methods like injecting the subject with bouts of anesthesia every night and whip lashing him/her/it for waking up might be efficient to improve sleep and waking up patterns, but are too corporeal for implementation and the implementer might face legal stifles. Besides that, they're quite futile- they don't work on Her Awesomeness! Nothing saps her late gene!
The only plausible way to provide a solution is the inception of "The Great Indian Late League", Her Awesomeness shall serve in the positions of Chairperson and Secretary. The population of this kind is observed to be large- definitely larger than the number of facebook users. No government can steal their identity from them! They are entitled to their right- of being recognized as citizens of a separate nation- a country for The Late Kind...
The Land of The Late Kind,
A dream come true for every Late Kind- for Her Awesomeness- A country where day begins at 12 noon IST!
Her Awesomeness enters class room fashionably late, at 9.30 am, panting and sweating(read: leaking) profusely.
With a 10Kg payload firmly affixed to the dorsal portion of Her torso and a pigmy umbrella swaying this way and that over Her shoulder as Her entourage, She begins her voyage at 8.50 am IST( Indian Stretchable Time), through a swarm of vehicles buzzing uninterrupted horn blows and noxious fumes from vehicle exhausts.
She obliges herself to using an exquisite variety of means of transportation from home to college,over a monotonous and not-so-impressive two-wheeler she owns, which She leaves in a God forsaken place, to rust and spoil itself.
The following points are excerpts from Her travelogue :
1. Walking a distance of 200m at a top speed 6 Kmph.
2. Royal APS RTC bus ride- a distance of 3/ 5 Km- average speed of bus, 20 Kmph (optimistically).
3. Walking a distance of 3Km/ 750 m at a top speed 6 Kmph
4. Taking an auto( rarely used, Her Awesomeness hates three-wheelers)
For onward journey - 1,2,(4,)3 and return journey- 3,2,1.
The length of Her journey is about 6Km and a major portion of it is spent on a bus' foot-board. Her entire body writhing in to-and-fro motion outside the confines of the bus, the tips of her toes pressing on the slippery foot-board and Her hands clasping the handle bars tightly for Dear Life, She performs stupendous feats every morning, which even the best of performers at The Great Chinese Circus are ineligible to fathom.
Kudos to Her bravado!
One great advocate of "efficient utilization of space" She is!
She does it, despite suffering muscle pulls, ligament inflammations and broken bones due to an occasional fall!
For Her to be able to reach the class on time, i.e., 9.00 am, (without suffering the aforementioned problems), suggest reforms and support them with arguments.
Solution :
Her Awesomeness' bravado is greatly regarded, and her idea of efficient space utilization duly appreciated, but starting at home at 8.50 am in order to reach a destination 6 Km away in just 10 minutes is obnoxiously ambitious, unless she shares genetic connections with the lineage of Don Quixote de la Mancha.
Let us study Her Awesomeness, more closely, and investigate the reasons to be late every morning.
Her Awesomeness is insomniac.
Her morbidly hyperactive grey cells keep her up in bed until wee hours of morning.
Her tendency to put off things makes her put off the alarm to snooze at least six times before finally giving into the incessant pleas of the alarm clock.
Resulting which, she wakes up carelessly late, under an illusion that she is an IIT creature, who is rumored to be endowed with blessings to sleep into the afternoon and bunk classes, without having to face the music from parents or professors, or feel a hint of remorse or guilt.
She finds the idiom, "Early bird catches worm", hilarious! "Who wants a worm anyway?", she snickers,"I shall thrive on sumptuous brunches", for she never rises early enough to call the food she eats, a "breakfast".
She identifies with a great boxer, who famously said that if school had started at four in the afternoon, he would've been a college graduate.
"Sloth, they named the bear after me!", she revels in her own joke, oblivious to the fact that it is not funny.
She unmindfully lazes around, wasting quite a deal of time while doing trivial things like the ritualistic ablutions, which are potential contributors to her being late, apart from screaming for "towel" from inside the bathroom.
She dashes outside her home, only to return inside , to collect objects vital to her existence- her eye glasses, pigmy umbrella, mobile phone, yet another reason to be ridiculously late.
A careful study of Her history reveals that she has been on her school's latecomers list ever since she was 14.
She seems remotely penetrable to reform. Late-rising, late-going and late- sleeping have been hard-wired into her being. The dark, deep circles around her spectactled eyes stand for indestructible evidence.
Methods like injecting the subject with bouts of anesthesia every night and whip lashing him/her/it for waking up might be efficient to improve sleep and waking up patterns, but are too corporeal for implementation and the implementer might face legal stifles. Besides that, they're quite futile- they don't work on Her Awesomeness! Nothing saps her late gene!
The only plausible way to provide a solution is the inception of "The Great Indian Late League", Her Awesomeness shall serve in the positions of Chairperson and Secretary. The population of this kind is observed to be large- definitely larger than the number of facebook users. No government can steal their identity from them! They are entitled to their right- of being recognized as citizens of a separate nation- a country for The Late Kind...
The Land of The Late Kind,
A dream come true for every Late Kind- for Her Awesomeness- A country where day begins at 12 noon IST!
