Dear Stalker(s),
A symptomatic diagnosis of your problem reveals that you suffer from acute dementia and bizarre delusion. That might sound appalling, I'm sorry, but that's what it is!
Here's a detailed report along with prescription :
I wake up ,every morning, from a horrendous dream, and lo! There you are! Puking in my inbox and pooping in my call logs! You sissy, you are so disgusting a vagrant that you perform your morning ablutions and nature-call rituals in a stranger's mobile phone!
Tell me, how do you determine a person's gender from his/her mobile number?
9********* - a man
8@@@@@@@@@ - a fat lady
7&%!!!!!@#- a gay
Is your strategy similar to what's shown above?
Please put your expertise to use ! It'll save the effort of documentation in many places. I'll bet you'll become a billionaire. I hope, probably then, you'll have no free time and thus
STOP BUGGING ME.
A professional brother of your's finds my virus-infected , raspy voice sweet. How sweet of him! I'd bet he helped Farhan Akhthar to boost up his confidence to sing! But my natural voice is pretty good and I need no such help.
NO, THANK YOU.
And you love me? A stupid " I LOVE YOU" text message on Valentine's Day shan't suffice. If you mean it, show it!Muster enough courage to look into my eyes and say those three magical words! If it is my mobile you are in morbid obsession with, you timorous creature, say,
" I LOVE YOUR MOBILE"!
Also, work on your writing skills . Or "texting" skills, if that's what you like to call it.
The following is an unintelligible sms you sent me, even after my repeated clarifications that I'm no "Shivani" :
"nv shivani kada ayte evru nv cpchu kada"
What on earth should that mean? My moderately equipped understanding skills find it an ordeal to comprehend your disgusting texts!
I felt like retorting with :
"neekenduku be nenevaraithe ?Nee ......"
A pox on you, stalker, for making me feel the necessity for a Rural Dictionary.
And more poxes on you- small pox, chicken pox, fox pox , all poxes in the world, if you don't stop disturbing me with a deluge of your nonsensical messages and missed calls.
I have been following a Gandhian rule (or something like it) "Ignore the idiot"! That has been saving your soul for the past several months.
My tolerance has exceeded it's capacity. I shall no longer put up with your nuisance. I'll track your number, pin you down, put you in shackles and beat your life out of you, if you don't put an end to your monomaniacal behaviour.
God forbid, your doomsday is near. BEWARE!!
Sincerely,
One whose name shan't be revealed to stalkers.
